lizigation

CONFESSION: I’ve been using law school to get over Teach for America.

I had, and still have, many logical reasons for going to law school. But let’s be real: law school started as a big distraction from Teach for America withdrawal. I wasn’t really dealing well with becoming a “TFA Alum.” It’s quite the emotional let down when all of a sudden the insane workload and responsibility of shaping young minds is ripped from under you. What do you do with yourself when you no longer need to constantly manage your time and quiet your nerves?

My answer was to read and brief cases like nobody’s business. Law school seemed disappointingly easy (emphasis on “seemed.”) I went home each day without child snot on my clothes or having had my sanity challenged. The Socratic method* can be a constant source of stress in law school, but as one of my fellow TFA-goes-Georgetown friends pointed out: it’s really just like getting your Equity Stick** pulled. My “whose the student now” victory dance that I did for my third graders when I received my acceptance letter just didn’t seem as funny now. Where were all the 8 year olds to challenge my authority, invade my personal space, and make me feel creative, successful, and loved?

Then one day, sitting in a court room, waiting for my very first oral arguments to begin (courtesy of my Legal Research and Writing class), I realized: Oh My God. I’m in law school. I’m on track to become a lawyer.

This realization probably would have helped before fall semester finals (I had found some additional distractions by then), but that’s in the past. Since, I’ve become more aware of the incredible people, resources, and opportunities around me. Law school the distraction, the Great Teach for America Rebound, has developed into something more. Like the next step in my career, for example. And I’ve embraced a different kind of crazy (reading and outlining late into the night, sometimes doubting my intelligence.) Just because I’m not taking names for no recess doesn’t mean law school isn’t hard or rewarding. Children will drive me that sweet kind of crazy again, someday. But for now, I’m happy to hang out with the grown ups and learn without popsicle sticks for a little while.

* when the professor cold calls you and barrages you with questions in front of the whole class.

** when a teacher pulls a popsickle stick with a student’s name on it out of a can to ensure everyone gets called on at least once.