lizigation

You’re family will always know exactly what to say to push your buttons without doing anything you can really blame them for. Maybe it’s built up over time, maybe it’s just that a particular person is saying it, but I always find that when I get frustrated with a family member I’m particularly flared up and I need to take a break to cool off.

I experienced quite a bit of this frustration this weekend while my mother and I helped my brother move into a new room for the summer. The problem was that we couldn’t really get away from each other, and I needed a break after a full morning of not being listened to and almost everything going wrong. In addition, my family really doesn’t understand the concept of taking a 30 minute break from one another to regain sanity. In fact, a suggestion of this usually results in accusations of being ridiculous or worse.

Thus a day of button pushing and forced contact led me to hide out in the shoe section of Target and call my boyfriend. And as I opened my mouth and started talking I realized that not only did I sound crazy, but I really didn’t like the me I am when I’m frustrated with my family. My boyfriend tends to make me want to project my best self, and when I talk to him I become suddenly aware and self conscious when I’m projecting something less than that.

The conclusion from this conversation was that half the bad feelings I have when arguing with family members is that I don’t want to be someone who is frustrated with (and complaining about) family members. It’s good for me to have a reminder that I shouldn’t succumb to the cycle of family arguments. Maybe it’s time to learn how to block things out and regain inner calm without walking away from a situation. Maybe I need a mantra for this too.